Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
