if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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