if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
