sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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