I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
