I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
