Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
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They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
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That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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