last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
