Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize