I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
