You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
