I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
