i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
