New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
