Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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