I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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