i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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