Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize