was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
