38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
