Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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