Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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