she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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