i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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