some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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