Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm both gender and math confused
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