White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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