C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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