DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
