I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
