Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
