Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
