I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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