Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
