I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
