and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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