Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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