Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
