Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
