Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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