In the future we'll all be gay
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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