4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
