You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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