I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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