why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Buhtt sex?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
