9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
