..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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