So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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