I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
how do flat chested girls get laid?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
