before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
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I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
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You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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