it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize