I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
