i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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