I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
