i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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