I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
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Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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