Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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