I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
