so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
