I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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