And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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