question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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