she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize