glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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