Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize