u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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